Closure

      I Need Closure,

•       I honestly don't care who's mom or dad sues me
•       who tells me I'm being dramatic
•       who thinks I'm being wierd

      I just need to do this for myself. Plus I don't know too many people who bother to read this crap.


      Today while I was cleaning my room I ran through a couple of my old folders from eighth grade. As I was looking through them I had a song on, all those pretty lights by andrew belle, and usually I am not a very emotional person, but it was at that instant I felt like I lost something, a big part of my life was just taken from me, like I was left with my heart ripped out on the ground. I was basically on the verge of tears. Reason being that is the song I used to make this:

      It feels like just yesterday I was so excited to go into seventh grade, hanging out with ashley constantly and texting her when she wasn't there, but here I am after a long struggle through eight grade, and I feel almost  like I've just lost control over everything in my life. Like time is my enemy, which in this case it is, but you see that is the thing with time, it tramples you and there is truly nothing that you can do to overcome it.
      I guess this is the best way I can deal with the situation for now, because I know that by doing this I haven't fully faced it. I had though that maybe if I made this video it, for me would be my own personal way to  say goodbye, but I guess I haven't come to that point because honestly I haven't even come to finish saying hello. I had always said that the time when you finally get used to school and things are becoming alright is the beginning of summer and I think that has been proven true so many times as with this school year. I will definitely miss the wonderful teachers I had this year, the opportunities I was given and regret the fact that I didn't take them all. When it comes to my school, since we aren't really such a big campus, you get so used to having your teachers by your side (let's excuse the fact that half of them hated me :) and you become so accustomed to the same styles of teaching. I don't think I will ever find an English class as good as the one I've had this year.
      But that's where closeure comes in, it's what gave me the strength to throw those old, dusty papers out and make way for new papers to come in, I already have a few summer assignments I can begin with, haha. I don't think I will miss the academics so much as I will miss the people teaching them, it's funny because even though I am using generalizations, I know I am specifying one person, Ms. Shertel, thanks for everything you have given me.
      God if this is how I am over teachers, what am I going to do if something else happens like getting dumped, I guess right now I'm pretty much and emotional mess so I'll go before I bore you to tears with another one of my rants.

              A bitter sweet,

                        ~Natalie