Morning Sleepies

      Actually considering it is no where near noon this is pretty early for me, haha. I mean I love the feeling you get when you are up at three in the morning and everyone else is sleeping, but I hate when you wake up again to see that well, half your day is gone, but I guess today I have both sides to that.
      In other news, we start shooting on Monday for the whole film class. Our teacher decided that instead of doing short films, like everyone else wanted, we should all do spoofs of different commercials that we see on T. V. so we, as a group decided to pick:



      Yup the infamous gyro bowl. I can honestly say that it was probably the most awkward time of being in my group. Considering that the group consists of me, Gabby, and some girl in the sixth grade who is probably afraid of both of us. We were done pretty quick and then afterwards I just went on Youtube for the rest of the day, avoiding any other potentially embarrassing or awkward moments.
      Speaking of Youtube have you guys ever heard of Jenna? Okay well she has a channel called lesbian answers on Youtube where she answers questions about being lesbian (pretty self-explanatory if you ask me).




      I've liked her for about a year now and cella does now do which basically is fine by me, but the only thing I guess is I'm the type of person who usually likes the odd things out sort to say. I mean it's not cause I decide oh look nobody I know likes this band so I'm going to. It's more of I just do.
      I mean I like the fact that I can talk to someone else about Jenna, but cella is the type of person who obsesses over what she likes, and you think I'm just kidding, right? You haven't seen cella in action. When she likes something its because she really loves it. To be honest it is something I like about her. She really has a passion in her, she wants to be a lawyer when she is older, so I think that will definetely help her out. I guess I was a bit agitated, but I just can't stay mad at cella. Do you know those people who sometimes annoy the hell out of you, but you definetely know that thier intentions are good, so you could never hate them, to me, that would definetely be cella. Either that or I'm just a sucker, lol.
      As for the whole Gabby issue I'll probably just try my best to work with Gabby and make things go smoothly. I mean I am finally starting to understand why she is trying to be all nice to me. It's definetely not for my sake, or is it? Maybe I really don't understand her as much as I thought I did. To be honest I think that she is just being nice to me to look good in front of other people, but I really don't even know now. Oh well let me just be left in my contempulation.

                        A very thinky,

                                ~Natalie

Things Are Starting To Become. . . .

      A bit too personal. . . .

      I guess that sometimes we take the internet as a too trusting place, bascially misleading what it is because at the end of the day, word gets around and what you do, can be exactly what you regret. Of all people I should probably know this shouldn't I?

      I mean over the past few years I, like just about every other American, have accumulated thier internet, "junk" so to say that yes, I've been a person to write something on say facebook, twitter, blogger, (insert other crap here), that I really would not want to get out, yet, like very few other Americans, I keep on going back to my methods for whatever reasons and for that I am feeling it would be proper for some sort of url change or account or something. (probably just a url though, haha)

      I kind of miss those days where I would check into blogger and be uber excited because someone commented on my post which would basically go like this:

Anonymous: your blog sucks. . . . a lot.

      I posted them anyways, I kind of made a pact to myself, a long while back that no matter how rude or obnoxious my comments were I would post them just to admit to myself that I am only human (woah big shocker there, right?)

      I guess I feel it being appropriate mostly because I like keeping my private life, well, private. I really could care less about who will fight me on this, because, as far as I am concerned, I am usually open about myself and people can ask me questions if they want to, but I mean my blog is like my own sacred diary and when other people read it (who are from my school not you guys :) I can't help but feel extremely violated, well depending on who reads it, but enough of this chitchat let's cut to the chase.

      So I started taking an enrichment class that this year is speacializing in film, its been pretty killer so far considering that all i have really done is make petty videos, while in actuality I am surfing the web and am on polyvore and all that good stuff, hehe. I actually just made a new set today.

      Even if you don't like it, it took me forever, so I really appreaciate it :) *cheesy face*, but I mean today I have probably had one of the best that I have had in a while. I started venting to cella, and by venting I mean playing my ipod through my speakers and singing along, and I mean she's really cool, it's nice cause we can talk a lot and she told me something today that really opened up my eyes. I'd write it on here, but I'm just afraid that the wrong people will read it, or take it the wrong way, so if you really want to know ask me in person, haha. But anyways, it kind of reminded me why we used to be best friends in the first place. I am actually pretty amazed at what "went down" between us. I mean it could probably be the prime example of where the word stupidity came from. I guess I might as well tell you if I am going to go on about her, but shhh don't tell.

      It was seventh grade and me and cella had just come back from summer, she went to the beach with aabha and sara, while I practically spent all my free time over at ashley's house. Things were going normal, not the best, but not the worst, until the science lab. We were partners along with, I think it was a kid named alex, and cella wanted a good grade (like anyone else). Cella had been the one who wrote down all the info and during school she gave me the paper so that I could copy it down, but I accidentally took it home, which for me was kinda a good thing considering I didn't finish it in school. She came around later that day and I had to give it back to her, to me it was really no big deal, until the next day at school. 

      That day I had heard it from (I honestly don't know who) that Cella had called me an "effin betch" the day before because of the science notes. I really don't know why, but at the time I had gotten so offended by that so I went up to her and was like why did you say that. She told me she didn't. But I knew she did, a few days later I dropped a letter in her locker. I can't remember word for word what it said, but something to the relevance of I can't believe you said that, blah, blah, blah, I don't think thats what a best-friend should do, blah, blah, blah. She had read the note and came running to me while I was walking down the block, but I just looked away from her and kept on going and since then, we haven't exactly been the best of friends, well that is until a few months ago. I remember that the first major conversation we had was on a bus driving off to a parade, all sweaty and gross I started talking to her. I think it was just about the best because I mean I had basically no one to really talk to. I probably was not the best person to talk to at all considering that she was talking to me about things that I had minimal, if no, information on. But ever since then we have been talking and what-not (obviously not like before), but just like school friends I guess.

      I mean I am not really expecting this to go to far considering she already has two best friends, one of which who probably really hates me, and the fact that she is friends with two other girls who really get her way more than I do. I mean it's not so much in understanding her as it is in knowing her, but I mean its really nice to have someone other than Carolina who always wants to talk about fashion, pretty little liars, and just plain chit chat. Cella can really keep a conversation going, lol. 

      In other words with this summer program I am working with Gabby, I know exactly what you are thinking, why? But it was not by choice at all. Basically when partners were to be picked, we worked in groups of three, you can already guess that cella had two other partners. So I turned, looked over to my left and there were two partners waiting for me right there. Gabby and another girl from a grade below us. I mean I really don't mind working with Gabby (let's try being mature for once), but I mean this program is supposed to be for pure fun and now I honestly do not even feel like going back to it, but I am probably going to have to force myself because what does that say about my character? (*cough, cough* my sister is in the program and if she shows up and I don't people will not be happy *cough, cough*) I am going to really have to drag my butt out of bed tomorrow, sigh, but hey they give out free snacks!

      Kellens Birthday is coming pretty soon so it's time for the yearly clock countdown (:

Make your own Countdown Clocks

      I have absolutely no idea what to get her for her birthday. I mean it has to be something really special, something that she will love, that will definitely maker her happy but I really don't know what. Last year I got her some owl bracelets, a necklace, and really that's about it. Gabby told me that I should get her something owl related and I was really happy to do that, that is until she showed up with some five dollar bath salts and some dollar store owl pendant -_- don't get me wrong they were nice and all but I mean its like saying that you should go out and buy a shirt and then wearing the exact same shirt if you can get what I mean, mostly I was just mad.
      I am guessing she is having a party this year, but if she is she hasn't said a word about it so far. I mean even if she doesn't have a party I am still going to get her and awesome gift. Our relationship was always really complicated and I guess this is going to be some sort of closure for me and for her too, but that's for another post. I guess that  just about wraps things up for now. Have a good Wednesday!

A quite chatty,

         ~Natalie